I have finally processed this very expired Kodak 200 film, that was siting in my Diana mini camera for a while now. the photos are kind of blurry and overexposed, but I like to have these images from this fall that passed so quickly and almost unnoticed for me.
I’m so busy these days and my mind is scattered between different things I want to do and things I have to do. I carefully manoever between the potentially dangerous thoughts. Meanwhile, it is a beautiful fall, with glourious sunrises and warm light.
I have finally found the time to scan these pinhole photos. I didn’t make so many of them this summer, but I am content with some of these images. There are times of change for me (my school moves to a new location) and my time seems so limited. But more than my limited time, my mental space seems crowded with all sorts of thoughts and worries. But I am hopeful, too, that change is a good thing this time.
The school year is slowly coming to an end (there is only one month left) and even if these last weeks happen to be really busy (with some unpleasant aspects, too) still the thought of the long vacation days at the horizon make everything better.
I didn’t do so good this far on my goals for this year. I planned on reading more literature and on writing more often in my diary or just writing about my thoughts and feelings more. I do write a few lines everyday in my planner, but that is more an account of what I did that day, whom did I saw, what I managed to accomplish, etc with the occasional mention of some more private thoughts. This is quite good for me, to have this routine of writing down a few things about my day, but I miss very much that feeling that you get when you write endlessly in your journal. So freeing and comfortable. It’s not that I wouldn’t have the time to read and write more only for the mere pleasure of doing these things, it’s more that I don’t find anymore the mental space in which to be in order to do them. The interior space in which to quiet down the thoughts about all the stuff that I need to do, about the worries, about all the trivial things from my days, the space in which I’m not constantly refreshing my email, etc. Usually I can find this special state of mind in the train, when I’m traveling during the day and the scenery keeps changing outside my windows. But I don’t travel that often… Sometimes also the rain outside creates a good space for me.
Anyway, during my summer vacation I really hope to read and write more. Also I have the ambitious plan to finish 10 embroideries and 20 drawings. Not sure if this is possible, as both these things take a lot of time for me. But I’ll try.
Meanwhile, I made these two drawings in the last month. They are not big (I used A4 paper) but still they took, I think, around 4 hours each to finish. I used to be much quicker :). I plan on drawing more of these random aspects from our house, some self-portraits and maybe some images of my street and neighborhood, too, like another kind of diary.
We celebrated our dog’s Souris birthday a week ago. He turned 5. We don’t know of course the exact day of his birth, as he is a rescue, but our vet put in his papers 1st of May as his birthday. We made him a knot from old cotton shirts and he loves it :). His sisters got their knots too, for the party :). It was really funny to watch them enjoying so much such a simple thing.
Among rainy days and days with things to do, we managed a trip to the forest again. We hoped to find mushrooms, but even with the rain, the soil was too dry and we didn’t find any. But my friend took some plants for our urban garden and we had a really nice walk. I really needed to go out and this forest that is so easy to reach by a bus from the city is a great cure for my anxiety.
The forest is so different each time we visit. This time there were less flowers, but it was so green and full of bird songs and mysterious sounds. It was very windy and the tall trees were moving far, far away in the sky.
This is one of my favorite plants, Geranium robertianum or Herb-Robert, so pretty and also a very efficient remedy for my migraines. My friend brought some of it from the forest some time ago and they thrive in our urban garden.
We looked for a while at the small pond that seems so different now compared to a month ago.
This is a different pond, full of small, white flowers.
Some other flowers and leafs.
And some shaky videos of flowers and windy trees.
I’m in vacation these days but I took this time to work on some school assignments for my textile arts M.A. Some of them were sort of interesting to make, some kind of boring, but still I had a relaxing time working on them. And I can always count on some help :).